It Could Go No Other Way

mr Sam has that look again,
‘so sorry mr jerry…but the elephant rides have been canceled and we must leave immediately ”
‘what do you mean canceled Mr Sam? we are ready to film my version of Tall Boy while i ride Effie the Elephant ” the kids are excited”
“again…so very sorry..but we must leave now”
” what the fuck? why mr samurai?
“sooooooooo sorry …it is Mr Sherm..he cannot be near the elephants”
“huh?”
“mr jerry…it is very dangerous…it is Valentines day…we must leave NOW!!!!!”

ok…back story here:
a little known fact in cambodia..when you have a friend in jail you can “swap” him for another person…providing that person is a predatory sexual deviant. faced with the crushing faluire of Mr Joe to extract Mr Sherm from the tombs of PP , we had to move quickly.
“predatory sexual deviant ” said mr Justin…” of fucking course…Mr Carl!!”
with in minutes of mr Justins phone call…mr Carls “good friends”the police…swooped down on the Shanghai bar..pulling mr carl out by his ears. mr carl not seeming to get it..looked at the jaw hanging locals and said ‘dont sweat it baby..its for the movie”
so sorry mr carl… your not Polanski champ…those girls you say love you..are 12 and you pay them…diseased old alcoholic yaba sex…is not the “new black”….um..i digress.
the long short is we freed Mr Sherm!!! the russians and fat old sexpats and pho cookers were dancing in the streets…everyone relieved and jubuliant about mr Blue Shirt Sherm being out among the living again . there was unforunatly unforeseen consequences.. and it may take years of “group therapy” to help mister Sherm look at the world with his previous “happy place” outlook
a note to his friends and family back home:
1.”be my Valentine ” means something very different here
2.never put out bowls of candy hearts
3.never allow mr Sherm to see pictures of Cupid or any other arrow toting cherubs
4.that cute mimed “i heart you ” thingy…dont do that…ever
Sherm is going to need to learn how to “love ” again…and this will take years
the elephants have an innate sense of these things ,at at this moment they are frightened and angry. and frankly a tad embarrassed….Tall Boy ..will have to wait.
we are in Siem Reap…its Sihanoukville…but with no beach..oh…and Angkor Wat. as of this writing we are leaving in 2 hours for Bangkok..the news its full of reports of bombings and potential bombings in the neighborhood mr Frank wants to meet in..so of course we are going, as Mr Frank famously says..”it could go no other way”
Cambodia..we have fallen in love with this place..and very grateful to be able to see it now…like all cool places it is changing rapidly,and to be sure ,it wont be the same…more power to the Khmer people as they get their game on and can watch foriegn dollars roll in…they deserve every penny
the last few days have been unreal and beautiful…a couple great gigs…the Equinox club was the first real mash up of a crowd and a decent PA system..Mr Frank was on point..Mr Ali…”bring it like jihad” el doumbek awesomeness..really cool show…topped off with the arrival of the mr joe and mr ellen kempler tears were shed..Mr joes incessant laughing will be remembered by generations of cambodians as the laugh of the jackal god[weird as there are no jackals here] , all the local kids are sporting his particular shade of silver nail polish…cultural throw down indeed [and possible interpol warrants]
the Foreign Correspondents Club..was the actualization of “it could go no other way” the PA? er…plugged in backwards to the microwave would be understating…we asked for help..and received huge plates of “frog with ingredients” and thats what it sounded like..ultimately resulting in us moving to the floor and sans sound system having one of the best shows of the tour
however …the next days “tuk tuk sessions” where we ..mr frank mr ali and mr jerry climbed into said tuk tuk..with mr justin filming..mr sal and mr sherm riding along side on the back of”very excited to get paid so much” motos,filming and recording…blessedly,with mr ali’s encyclopedic knowledge of the seedy allys of phnom penh ..it was nothing short of magic…and i hate when people call music magic…its not magic..its work and sweat and hopefully good songs…still there was a enclosed ally that the tuk tuk couldnt go down..we walked in with our instruments.set up in front of the one working shop light..and played…really intense..really ..i felt as far away from the things i know as an american, as i have been on this trip..another world entirely for me. 20 to 30 children.crawling all over us..clapping and singing along to “revolution” and “road home” and trust me on this…it was actual” for real’ magic..i would say the most rewarding and intense musical experience of my life…period. thank you cambodia
the rest of our time has included a Herculean effort on mr chicken fingers part to eat..everyfuckingthing the beef fried in big black ants,the fried tarantulas,stuff we told him was food but…wasn’t. we [mr sherm,justin,joe,ellen,carison,becca,sam mook,me] field-tripped to angkor wat .theres a reason lonely planet calls it the number one thing to see on earth..plus there are monkeys.and a personal plus..lots of jackmormon fans [see picture below}...we were talking with mr sam about cambodia being the most advanced kingdom on the planet at one pint...what happened?.'we got to be too polite ..mr jerry" and that may be true..when you spend your time perfecting your interpersonal respect skills and subtle beautiful dancing...the rock throwers tend to descend and kick your castle over... a quandary to be sure
i am writing this now from bangkok... leaving cambodia was difficult..we saw alot in this month and keep talking about how it would be an amazing place to live... like anywhere in the middle of a resurgence...the possibilities are endless..the people are excited and hopeful about their futures...and the food..well...ask mr justin about the tarantula-slim jim juxtaposition
a huge thanks and toyotatacomabarakobama [said as fast as you can] to mr sam bee,. without his insight and perfect english ,we would have missed half of this stuff see you in the cosmic oil office mr sam thank you…
ok..bangkok…very different blog…so goodnight noises everywhere mr jerry
ps…..i just realized i capped the first half and not the second..there will be explaining to do when i see mr brad ..but basically too lazy to go back and uncap.or recap..as it were