I Really Fucked Up
I really fucked up…I was wrong. I need to say I’m sorry.
Mostly, I need to apologize to my children…I failed you.
And to the world. Failed.
I walked into bikram yoga at 4:30 west coast time…in Portland, Oregon…I walked out and straight into Mississippi 1954.
Total absolute failure…to protect the future of my kids and grandkids from racism, misogyny, loss of free speech, global warming, fascist fundamentalists and stone cold, uneducated stupidity.
I would love to blame it on a half of a nation not voting…on self-righteous millennials voting for wood fairies and free jam band festival tickets…who now say they want to march (with helpful cops). On the media giving a pig enough free coverage to win.
On Hillary ignoring the disenfranchised rust belt. On Russian hackers and FBI coup plotters. On Obama not publicly recognizing areas where he didn’t make the grade and doing his best to ensure us that the democrats have learned from failures and near misses.
On my fellow musicians who are too worried about rocking the boat with their fan base to say anything beyond “vote love” or just “vote please”…total chicken shit drivel and a complete water down and whitewash of anything that gave power to the voice of the artist.
On dumb fucking Americans who are not educated enough, enlightened enough, compassionate enough or simply gleefully wallowing in fear and hate and ignorance to HAPPILY vote for a shit blowing waste of sperm…and call it change.
Trust me…I want to blame all of them.
I can only blame myself.
I was a huge supporter of Trump winning the RNC nomination…I smugly thought he would eviscerate the republicans and then, pretty much anyone would stomp him into history…fuck man…I was so wrong
I underestimated the power of the whiteIash…I saw the signs like everyone else…and I didn’t fight it. I’m a lefty…I’m pro-choice…we should have slaughtered it in utero.
I laughed at Bernie and his wet dream of a vision and his army of children who want to be younger and hipster, contemporaries who only seemed interested in selfies taken in front of feel the Bern signs who ultimately handed trump his victory…when I should have fought harder for his ideas and not left it up to American Apparel models.
I am 100 percent owning my support of Hillary…I still think she would have been the best president…I am still unclear Bernie would have survived the campaign. However, had he been our nominee and had he survived the republican tar and feathering of a socialist…he would have won Ohio, Michigan and Wisconsin for starters.
Bernie understood better the disenfranchisement of blue collar America…which admittedly I am very removed from. I tend to always vote with global issues in mind…and I certainly quit giving a fuck about poor white southern cracker agendas a long time ago…dude…totally should have been paying more attention.
I blew it.
I didn’t fight hard enough…I posted hip Salon articles and listened to Public Enemy records and posted smarmy memes and patted myself on the back for righteously telling the few trumpers and non-voters on my social media page to suck my dick.
In a time for firebombs I used an iPhone app…fucking pathetic. And now, as my friend Ben says, I will die before there is a liberal Supreme Court again. Rudy Giuliani is going to be Attorney General…and my daughters reproductive rights will be revoked as will my children’s rights to clean water and free speech.
This is a complete failure to protect my kids.
I am so fucking sorry.
So what now???
First…we are at war…I think it’s beyond a war of ideas…
Wall Street looked at the Occupy movement as a fucking joke…no leader, a lot of well-meaning people with bongos and phish shirts not doing shit and definitely not willing to get hurt for their cause.
Look…I love love.
I might call my next record:
I Love Love
But you want to bury these racist fucks who just took power? It’s not going to be with love…no matter what Michael Frante says (I love Michael, don’t get me wrong).
I have musician friends posting that they are frightened and hurting and just want more love…are you fucking kidding me?? Now is the time to use the albeit not very intimidating guitar…and start smashing racists over the head with it…musically and literally.
I see my younger musician friends saying, “now is our time”…for what?! More songs about your girlfriend and how much you love good pot and camping??? The most vital political record this year by white guys was American Band by the Truckers…handsome strapping gentlemen that they are…but are by no means a bunch of 25-year olds.
So…you’re time? Show me…for the love of God…how you are going to help overthrow this fucking nightmare, ‘cause marching in your MMJ tshirt with a canteen full of small batch bourbon and yelling real loud for your rights isn’t gonna fucking cut it champ.
And before I get to me…what about our generation? (I am 1961…still a boomer?)
Every fucking thing that has been accomplished since the sixties has now been (or will be momentarily) wiped off the board…somehow I don’t see the oldchella crowd stuffing their Teslas and BMWs full of C4 and driving into tanks. I would like bring the idea to the table, however. We all had a great American experience and we owe our kids the same 🙂
At least the AARP generation can show these kids how make a pipe bomb and keep throwing punches with a face full of tear gas.
All this…though I never truly believed Trump…I don’t think when he got into this he was really that guy…or really anything but a storyboard treatment for a game show. However…those white guys standing behind him? They are as clearly my enemy as any time in my life.
And Trump supporters.
These guys on my page saying “things have changed Jerry, you best accept it” or on Patterson’s page saying “I wouldn’t let Obama sign my watermelon.”
These people are the fucking enemy…and I have zero fucking love for them…hold your kids, love your family, love your planet…but I implore you…Racist Facists don’t need love. They need bullets or at least a couple kicks to the head…like the bullies they are…you keep hitting them long after they start crying…to make sure they never come back.
All that being said…I really don’t know the best course of action here. I’m going to try to keep taking music abroad to show we aren’t all Neanderthals…but my wife would tell you I’m just doing that for my own damn self.
I can jump up and down and hit my head and scream rock songs…but it’s unclear more than 20 people are listening.
I could hit the streets (in some place that matters…not Portland) and fight Trump pigs…but they haven’t released the locations yet of where to meet up…and I’m a 55-year old little dwarf with kids that need me…so I don’t necessarily want to die or go to prison for ten years.
I don’t have money.
I don’t own a gun (though I’m reconsidering that).
I have a lot of social media friends and I make a pretty good curry…
I am at a loss…I’m open to opinions and ideas…my friend Richard Davis is driving trucks of supplies to Standing Rock and still we talk about feeling helpless…I refuse to be helpless.
So you tell me…What’s Our Next Move?
In the meantime…
To my kids…my grandchildren…my family.
My country…my planet.
I am humbly and devastatingly sorry.
I failed you.